Forecast predicts gigs slump

October 6, 2008

Stoat will not be coming to a venue near you anytime soon. That’s the
clear finding of recent research into the relationship between the
bandmembers’ propensity to reproduce and the likelihood of them performing
live. According to analyst David Stown, the frequency with which Stoat gig
goes through the floor in the year after there is an addition to the Stoat
family. That’s bad news for Stoat fans given that 2008 contains the
double-whammy of TWO new Stoatíns.

Dr Stown contends that the problem is compounded by the fact that one of
the additions is a Hearne baby: “well Stoat might have weathered the storm
if it was just Heather in the mix, but Hearne babies tend to take their
toll disproportionately. In the years after Tom and Lily were born, gig
frequency dropped to a record low of just two shows in each of the years.
In the year after Isabelle’s birth however performance levels remained a
robust seven”.

So can Dr Stown predict how many Stoat gigs we can expect in 2009? “No,
Microsoft Excel does not do regression” Fair enough.


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